January 2011
7 posts
Facebook Frustration
With some money in my pocket and the will of something to do fuck this I’m not staying home, all sad waiting for you
I’m frustrated on how you act like nothing I do is good enough I’m so very tired and weary with all this stupid stuff
I love you, you know I do That’s never been in question Just that sometimes I don’t know How to feel, how to act some stupid...
Worst, getting the best
I am not know to be an angry person. So even less could it be postulated that I am a violate person. But today, with such frustration and impulse… I let raw emotion of utter disdain get the best of me.
Dear God no, I did not lay a hand at anyone. Nor did I yell at someone until tears roll down… But a rage inside me welled up.
Depression became Frustration. Frustration, bitterness....
I’m sad, bitter and unmotivated. I want to cry, but too proud to shed a tear. I’m frustrated, but too level headed to be angry. I’m depressed, but don’t want to be cheered up.
There is one thing in life that could cheer me up. But I don’t want to see her. She hurt me, and doesn’t know how she did. Or why it hurts me.
And that, in itself, is why I hurt.
““You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love...”
– http://crossing.tumblr.com/post/1119162879/you-may-not-be-her-first-her-last-or-her-only
Feeling like shit doesn’t describe the feeling of needing someone when you’re at your lowest. Being here, I’m so isolated. So far from people, from support. From love and affection.
And Honestly, it is very hard. I don’t know how others do it. Maybe they are just stronger than I am. Maybe I’m just really bad at coping.
Maybe. Probably.
“Sometimes the great fall. Pillars of strength, give way. Even Superman...”
